Random Walk
The “SOLD” banner comes down from the facade of MIT’s Building 10. Had things gone according to plan, the banner would have been visible from the Charles River.
Sold!
“Bowing to extreme financial pressures, MIT administration today made official the sale of the Institute to Caltech. The campus is to be repurposed as Caltech East, a new School of the Humanities, serving as a complementary counterpart to Caltech’s scientific excellence,” read the top story of the Monday, November 30, 2009, issue of The Tech, the MIT student newspaper. The changeover would include reassigning all MIT undergrads to new majors in the new school, the paper went on to say. “While East Campus students will still be held to the same high academic standards to which they are accustomed, they will be relieved of the responsibility of advancing human knowledge through scientific research.” As part of the formalities, a giant SOLD banner would be hung in Killian Court to greet students returning from their Thanksgiving break.
Ah, but it was just a Caltech prank. Following six months of intense planning and reconnaissance, zero hour was 0330 on the 30th. ASCIT president Anthony Chong, a senior, led the operation, ably supported by 18 undergrads and 25 or so alumni who hosted students and picked up and delivered the banners, fliers, T-shirts, and fake newspapers. “Michael Betancourt (BS ’06), Kasia Gora (BS ’06), and Russell McClellan (BS ’09) really stepped up,” Chong says. The strike team was divided into three groups.
The roof team unfurled the banners. Besides the SOLD sign, other banners were to be hung along Massachusetts Avenue, MIT’s main drag, proclaiming, “Welcome to Caltech East, School of the Humanities.”
The corridor team deployed new floor mats featuring the Caltech East seal, an amalgam of the Caltech and MIT logos, and changed the administrators’ office-door nameplates. Fliers to be distributed along the way teased readers with announcements of tutorials on such topics as “How to sustain yourself as a freelance writer,” and an invitation to join the new Caltech East Surf Club.
The new Caltech East seal.
Meanwhile, the tech team finished up the Caltech East website, http://east.caltech.edu, which included a pdf of the eight-page bogus Tech. (Visit http://east.caltech.edu/tech.pdf to read it.) The lead story’s companion photo showed Caltech president Jean-Lou Chameau shaking hands with MIT’s Susan Hockfield, “sealing the deal.” Other articles included the announcement of a new Caltech East mascot (another beaver) and various orientation materials, including a Caltech glossary and the following handy conversion chart to help befuddled East Techers find their new majors:
• Biology: Biology
(Keep it. This science is so soft it might as well be a humanities option.)
• Chemistry: Foreign Language (Considering IUPAC nomenclature, I’d say you’re already halfway there.)
• Engineering: Economics
(Hey, they both start with “E” and you still get to do useful math.)
• Mathematics: Philosophy
(At least you’re still in a field not applicable to the real world.)
• Physics: Women’s Studies
(It’s time you guys learned some manners. And how to bathe.)
Alas, despite much practice on Caltech buildings, the SOLD banner did not drop as quickly as anticipated. Other team members were recruited to help, which slowed down the entire enterprise. But ultimately, it was an MIT janitor who doomed the deed. After spotting the new floor mats, and over Chong’s protests, the janitor called the MIT police, who have no sense of humor. The pranksters were stopped dead in their tracks and forced to take down all their work. Some of the faux Techs were distributed anyway by alumni unaware that the plot had been foiled, causing—one hopes!—a few confused MIT students.
Despite being busted in flagrante, “All in all, I’m pretty happy,” Chong says. “We were sooooooo close. Another 10 minutes and everything would have been done.”
Oh, well—better luck next time. Thanks to Assistant Vice President for Student Affairs and Campus Life Tom Mannion and some generous alumni, there’s now a prank club and some non-Institute funding for future adventures. —DP
The prank team. Top row, left to right: Anthony Chong (’10), Sebastian Rojas Mata (’13), Isaac Sheff (’12), John Forbes (’10), Heather Widgren (’10), Raymond Jimenez (’13), Alex Rasmussen (’12). Bottom row: Jordan Theriot (’12), Eugeniu Plamadeala (’10), Ryan Thorngren (’13). Missing: Peggy Allen (’11), Perrin Considine (’12), Megan Larisch (’12), Rebecca Lawler (’13), Julian Panetta (’10), Nicholas Rosa (’10), Stefan Skoog, Will Steinhardt (’11).
